At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
