need another drink. this is the easiest way
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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