you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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