WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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