one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
