who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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