At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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