Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
