I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So squirting runs in the family.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
