Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
