david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
