Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
