Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
