i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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