can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
