Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
