So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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