I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
