There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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