and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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