For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
