Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Still dying that you shit outside
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
