I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
