too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
