he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
