some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
