I hate all girls vehemently.
operation harelip BJ is a go
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
