I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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