we have pet lesbian snakes
I cockslap morals
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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