i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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