I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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