Whod you bang
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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