I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
