This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
