You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
