oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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