Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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