While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
