Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
