just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
