i just wanna soil my oats bro
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
home. puking in laundry basket.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
