anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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