I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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