So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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