You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So many bounce houses so little time
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
