I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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