The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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