and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
