Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
