im gay
i know
yea but for you.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
