I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
