I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
