some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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